Still on the struggle bus

In case you hadn’t figured out by my month-and-a-half hiatus, I’m still struggling to get back on the losing train. My weight basically remains the same since March—give or take a couple of pounds.

Currently, it’s give (my gut) a few more pounds. Thanks, election-related stress eating.

That’s why I was excited to see the new features WW launched this week as part of its MyWW+ program.

I’m hoping it will be just the kick-start I need to get back into losing mode, especially since I have less than a year left until my big 50th birthday. I’d still like to be a my goal weight by then, though that looks increasingly unlikely when I have 75 pounds to lose and it took me more than a year to lose the first 50.

Right now, I’ll just be happy to be in One-derland by next October 7. That means losing another 50-ish pounds.

Shirt by StitchFix. Giant mug of morning coffee by me, since I’m again working from home this week. Fewer Points than Dunkin’ or Dutch Bros—and dare I say just as tasty.

This pandemic life is driving me crazy. I’ve needed a haircut since April, but I don’t feel like chancing a trip to the salon. I’m still working fewer hours, which leaves more time for crocheting … AND snacking.

One could argue that I also have more time for working out—and one would be correct. But for some reason, I find that tougher to get done.

Excuses, excuses. We all have plenty of those, don’t we?

I also have less money because of the reduced work hours, which leads to more stress about my finances.

WW’s mindset pillar seems to be where I’m struggling the most. I’ll have a couple of good, on-track days and then want to eat ALL. THE. THINGS. And when I eat something I don’t feel I “should” eat, I tend to stop tracking and keep eating … because I’ve already “blown it” for the day. Might as well, because “I’ll never have X food again.”

Logically, I know this isn’t true. Unfortunately, the message doesn’t always make it from my brain to my mouth.

The new meal planning tool in the WW app looks like it will be useful, especially in keeping me from resorting to takeout. My biggest issue is trying to come up with dinner plans on the fly. I end up thinking it’s easier to order something.

I just wish they’d added the menu planner to the app before I invested in the paper 52-week menu planner.

My problem lately

It’s probably no secret I’ve been struggling with the whole diet and exercise thing lately.

My biggest problem: It’s been all or nothing. I’m either ON my plan or spectacularly OFF it … the way I was all last week while on vacation. Too much eating out — and making poor choices. One bad choice led to another — and another — and … You get the picture.

You might have guessed this from the tone of recent posts, but I’m tired. Tired of always feeling the need to deprive myself. Tired of pretending I want a veggie burger when I really want to sink my teeth into a nice, juicy steak. Just plain tired.

Maybe my lack of sleep is finally catching up to me. Maybe I’m too focused on burning the candle at both ends. (I don’t see that changing anytime soon, though, with my first novel slated for release the week of Oct. 15 and revisions due by Sept. 1.)

I know I need to make time for eating well and exercising. I know that if I do focus on eating whole, real foods, I’ll stop obsessing about eating between meals. I know that a short walk in the morning really does give me more energy. I know that after even one day of making healthier choices, I’ll feel better overall.

I also know that experts say gradual changes are the way to lasting weight loss (although I’ve had great success with a complete overhaul a la Atkins).

So, today is a new day.

• I want to focus on crowding out sweets and processed junk.
• I want to start my day with a #colourfulsmoothie. Maybe even this one from Leanne at Healthful Pursuit. (Except I need to shop before I make that one.)
• I want to track ALL my eats in Lose It.
• I want to make time for at least a short walk.
• I want to make a meal plan and pick up a few groceries.

Today is also the day I’ll be snapping my WIAW pictures. (My skipping WIAW last week was partly because I had no time to blog, but mostly because I didn’t eat one thing I was proud of.) I need y’all to check back with me tomorrow to make sure I stuck to my guns.

Running behind

All day Monday, I felt like I was three or more steps behind. I was late getting up, getting to Starbucks for writing time and then heading in to work. (I looked up from my manuscript and realized it was 4:15, when I should have been to work by 4 at the latest. Oops.)

I think I might have even missed the check-in deadline for last week’s Best Body Bootcamp points … by about five minutes. I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed that Tina was a few minutes late checking our check-ins.

If not, I hope all my hard work will at least count in the grand scheme of things, even if I’m DQ’d from this week’s drawing.

Running behind like I was meant this morning’s workout didn’t happen. Even worse, I didn’t drink my water or track my eats the way I should.

Yikes. That makes today a total wash.

What is wrong with me? I can’t lose focus now, in the last week — not when I’ve been doing so well all along.

*Deep breath.*

I’m getting up and hitting the elliptical first thing in the morning. You heard it here first. Make sure to hold me to it, will you?