It’s no secret 2016 has sucked in a lot of ways for a lot of folks, myself included. (The Cubs’ World Series win was one bright spot in an otherwise shitty year that killed off many of my fave 80s musicians while giving us a presidential punchline who’s likely to blow up the world when his tiny, pussy-grabbing hands grab hold of the nuke codes.)
But enough about politics. This is a blog about weight loss … or the lack thereof. I’ve been eating crap, and I have the terrible feelings and body image to match.
I can’t guarantee I’ll blog more here, or that I’ll actually LOSE weight in 2017 … but I’m going to try my damnedest.
Crap has been the word of the year, both for the way I’ve been eating and how I feel. Yet I can’t seem to pull myself out of the funk. I feel terrible, and still I eat junk that makes me feel bad.
Why is that? I don’t know.
Perhaps it’s a mild depression because I still haven’t worked through the death of my folks (back in 2003), or processed what went down with the (now ex-)Boyfriend, more than a year ago.
Perhaps it’s a general feeling of overwhelm as I try to work full-time and succeed as an author.
(Side note: I published two new books in 2016, Ogling the Outfielder and Stealing the Southpaw — another bright spot in the otherwise awful year.)
Perhaps it’s simply my inner rebel, tired of all the food rules she doesn’t want to follow.
Regardless of the cause, the simple truth is that I keep relearning the same lessons over and over again. I KNOW I feel better when I cut back on carbs. I’m less achy and not always hungry. Low-carb is the only eating style I’ve followed that allows me to forget to eat.
But when I’m not actually doing the low-carb thing, the thought of giving up all those delicious goodies — the bread, pasta, potatoes and sweets, oh God the sweets — is a bigger turnoff than … than imagining our Chee-to orange commander in chief in his underwear.
Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. 😉 Or maybe not. I’ll let you decide.
Since I moved to Prescott in May 2015, I haven’t had TV. I haven’t even plugged the set in. Instead, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts. On one of them (I can’t remember which one, sadly), someone said something to the effect of, “You won’t lose weight if you don’t think you can.”
And I think THAT’s been a large part of my problem. I’ve spent the better part of two years telling myself that I can’t seem to stick to a diet. (And for the last year-plus of that, the now-ex hasn’t been pushing food on me, so I can’t blame him.)
Well, it’s time to change that inner dialogue.
I want to go back to being the determined woman who wrote this blog post, back in 2013: I have a new rallying cry.
I’m not sure if I’ll keep blogging here or fold my weight-loss journey into my author blog at ArleneHittle.com. I think another of my problems has been trying (and failing) to maintain too many blogs/personalities. I have four Twitter accounts, two FB pages plus my personal feed, three blogs (none of which get updated too often), plus Instagram, Pinterest (which I still use mainly to pin recipes I never get around to trying) and Goodreads.
I’m hoping my romance readers will tell me if they want to join me in the fight. If enough of them do, I’ll probably do regular weight-loss updates over there and stop updating here for good. Although I’m not sure I want to let it go … I have more than 1,000 posts dating back to 2009.
Ack. Decisions, decisions.
It’s time to get back to making one healthy decision at a time.