Back to reality

Well, well, well.

I flirted with Intuitive Eating. I loved the freedom that came with letting go of guilt associated with food. I still think it could work for me … someday.

But for the time being, I need to track what goes into my mouth.

It’s not glamorous, and it’s not fun. However, it seems to be necessary. Even if I don’t put certain foods off-limits, I need the accountability that comes with tracking what I eat. When I’m not keeping track, it’s too easy to ignore smart choices and throw caution to the wind.

Tracking is like shaving your legs: It sucks, but you have to do it.

Umm … maybe that’s not the best analogy. I don’t shave my legs regularly, either—especially in this weather. No need to bother when my legs are completely covered, right?

Tracking is as necessary as flossing. Yeah. That’s better.

It is, of course, almost Jan. 1. Resolution time. I’ll be making the usual resolutions, to lose weight and move more. I’d love to be in a place where I could just resolve to live life to the fullest, enjoy it and just be happy with who and where I am. I just don’t think I’m ready. After all, I’ve been ignoring food rules and eating it up since July, and find myself in the same damn place I was last January.

Tracking will help. I know it works when I do it.

To help with tracking, I just treated myself to a late Christmas gift: a FitBit Flex. (Thank you, Best Buy credit card.)

You might remember I got a Nike FuelBand for my birthday. And sent it back when it popped open at the extender joint. Well, on Christmas Day, the second one met the same fate.

Another FuelBand bites the dust

Another FuelBand bites the dust

Yeah. It’s not supposed to open there. The clasp is that silver link at top. I wanted to love the FuelBand—and I did like the information it provided. I also liked the push it gave me to see that little “goal” display light up at the end of the night.

But instead of hoping the third time’s the charm, and this would be the time I got a FuelBand that didn’t break within a month or two, I decided to try something different. I picked up a FitBit Flex. I was a bit disappointed when I realized it’s not the one that functions like a watch, displaying the time and other info with a tap or two. (I really loved that about my Nike FuelBand.)

I’m super excited to see how it works, especially the sleep-tracking function. I really want to know how well I’m sleeping—or not sleeping.

I’m sure it’ll be an eye-opening revelation.

Another thing that will help is getting back in the kitchen. I’ve been eating out WAY too much recently—and it’s usually fast food. I should be able to curb the urge, especially now that the McRib has gone away again. Don’t ask me why, but I LOVE those things. (Please don’t tell me what they’re made of. In this case, ignorance is bliss.)

Back to my attempts to get back in the kitchen.

Black Bean Soup | Peas and CrayonsOn Friday, I whipped up a Crock Pot full of Jenn’s Slow Cooker Black Bean Soup. I omitted the cilantro because I can’t stand the stuff, but it was still delicious—full of flavor.

I had a cup for dinner Friday night, topped with avocado and crumbly cheese.

My only complaint? Next time, I’ll add extra broth, because all mine cooked away. It turned out more like a cupful of beans than a real soup.

I hit the store Saturday for a few groceries to tide me over until payday. Can’t start a new healthier eating plan if I don’t have real food in the house, right? I focused on buying things to keep me from eating out … so the haul included stuff for salads as well as Greek yogurt, cottage cheese and some quick-fix favorites.

Apparently, I don’t only want mac and cheese with hot dogs when I’m sick. But hey—if it keeps me out of the drive-thru, it’s all good, right? I’ll just watch the portion size …

I suppose I need to decide whether I’m going to go low-carb or just count calories. Of course, that’d mean putting certain foods off-limits—and I don’t think I want to do that.

Why does food have to be so difficult?

I seriously thought about attending an OA meeting Saturday morning, but I slept through my alarm. (My subconscious must not have wanted me to go.) I’m off Monday (for my New Year’s Day holiday), and there’s a meeting that night, so I can still check it out. Watching Emily’s journey has made me curious. Can’t hurt to check out one meeting, right?

Quinoa Breakfast Bars | Lean Green BeanWhile my dinner was in the oven Sunday, I made my first batch of Lindsay’s Quinoa Breakfast Bars.

My sister-in-law had some on hand while I was visiting in May, and I’ve been meaning to make some ever since. Armed with my new resolve and with some spare time on my hands, I decided this was the week.

I nibbled on a few crumbs as I individually wrapped the bars, and they’re as yummy as I remember them at Dan and Sharon’s. I cannot wait to dig in.

Eating better and moving more takes work, yes, but I’m worth the effort.

I also don’t want to fall into the trap of trying to eat perfectly, or work out every day, because that just sets myself up for failure. The first time I don’t do whatever it is I’m aiming to, I say “screw it” and spend a day (or longer) off the rails.

Instead, I’m going to focus on #wycwyc. What you can, when you can.

Consistency really is key. I proved that by consistently making smart, healthy choices the first half of the year—and undoing all my progress (30-ish pounds lost) with consistently poor choices  the rest of the year.

2014’s going to be the year I find that elusive balance. I can feel it.

3 responses to “Back to reality

  1. I also struggle with intuitive eating. I’m often hungry, and I often nibble. I really have to be conscious of my portions. I only have a few drive-thru options, 99% of which aren’t gluten-free, which I know helps a lot! Tracking may suck, but the end results will be way more than worth it 🙂

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