What do I want?

I’ve been a sometime reader of Janetha’s blog, Meals and Moves, since I met her at Blend2013. Tonight, I saw a link to her latest post, “Real Talk.”

All I can say is “wow.” Add her to the list of people who are wise beyond their years.

i guess i wanted to write this post because i know how it is. you read blogs and scroll through instagram and wish you had the things other people have. the stage-ready bikini body. the medal from a marathon. the perfect, on-point eating habits. but stop comparing yourself to others and wishing you had what they had. also, remember what it takes to have those things. recognize the hard work those people are putting in to get those things. it’s not a walk in the park and they earned those results. if you truly want those things, good for you, GO AFTER THEM. put in the work, you will get the results. but don’t feel bad if you don’t want those things. don’t feel bad if you choose a different path. be happy with your decisions. make your own goals and go after them and be happy when you reach them. and find what works for YOU.. because we are all different. and that’s completely okay.

This post just convinced me to add Meals & Moves to my Feedly feed. As a copy editor, the lack of capitalization might drive me nuts, but recipes like Protein Cheesecake and Cauliflower Crust Pizza, along with cute pictures of Randy and Penny and deep thoughts like this will be worth a few eyelid twitches. 😀

A beautiful fall sunset

A stunning fall sunset in northern Arizona.

I think I’ve spent most of the summer/fall of 2013 feeling bad about the path I’ve been on—at least where diet and exercise are concerned. (My writing life is finally starting to take off, after years of writing, submitting and receiving rejections.) I’ve seen everyone having fun/eating ____________ on Twitter and Instagram and thought “why can’t I do that?” while I’ve struggled with making good, healthy decisions.

Instead of trying to be like everyone else, I need to find what works for me.

Right now, what works for me is a lower-carb diet.

After less than a week, I feel like I’m back in control. Why do I never remember how easy it can be? Every time I think about doing low-carb, I drag my feet. I whine and cry and think how awful it’ll be to give up fries/bread/pasta … And every time, I don’t miss ’em.

When will I learn?

Butternut Squash Fries

Yes, those are bacon-wrapped scallops alongside my butternut squash fries.

One of the good things about not doing full-on Atkins (yet) is that I’ve left myself some room for higher-carb splurges. Friday’s lunch was that yummy salad with a few dried cranberries. For dinner Saturday, I made some butternut squash fries. (About 14 Net Carbs in a cup.)

Unlike what’s been happening all summer (eating junk leads to eating more junk—and then more, because I’m still not satisfied), I find I can splurge without going hog-wild.

It's better with butter.

It tastes better with butter, too.

After dinner Saturday night, when I went to see “Last Vegas,” I enjoyed some popcorn (with butter. Dr. Atkins said that if you’re going to eat carbs, do it with fat to mitigate the blood sugar spike). I tracked it and moved on. And when I went back to the theater Sunday to watch “Bad Grandpa,” I ate the nuts I sneaked into the theater in my purse. Didn’t want the popcorn. Barely even thought about ordering any. (It might have helped that I’d just eaten lunch minutes before walking in.)

By the way, in case you had any doubt, go see “Last Vegas.” Hold out for “Bad Grandpa” on video.

I’ve lost that “all-ravenous, all the time” feeling. I’m back to not thinking about food between meals—or indeed sometimes at mealtime. Low-carb is the only plan I’ve ever followed where I can forget to eat.

Anyway. Janetha’s post made me ask what I want.

The answer? Aside from the obvious …

I want my book to hit the Amazon bestseller list

I want to go out to a restaurant and order something that appeals to me, whether it’s a steak/burger or salad. I DON’T want to feel bad about ordering said steak when I “should” get a salad. If I want a salad, fine. But if the damn burger sounds better, I want to get it without feeling guilty.

I want to (eventually) get to a place where I don’t have to count/track everything I eat. The whole Intuitive Eating thing still sounds like the Holy Grail. But like I’ve said before, I’m not there yet. I may never get there.

I want the Boyfriend to stop pushing food on me. (Good luck with that one.) Maybe I should change it to “I want to find the willpower/courage/strength to just say no when he starts pushing food on me.” With a low-carb diet, it becomes much easier for me to do that.

I want to start moving more. I want to rejoin the gym and start taking fun classes like Zumba again. (Money’s the problem with this one. Maybe once I get my first royalty check …)

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