Is this real fun?

I spent another weekend on my own. After having such a fantastic time at Blend Retreat last weekend, it was a bit of a letdown.

What I did:

Twin Arrows Twin ArrowsChecked out the brand-new casino at Twin Arrows. Beautiful facility — absolutely beautiful. And it houses hundreds of bright, shiny new machines … none of which paid me a red cent. You know that urban legend about slots being loose when a casino first opens? Crap. Utter crap. Someday I’ll learn.

Went to the movie theater. Sunday, I took myself to see “Hangover III” and the latest “Star Trek” flick — in that order. Good decision, because “Star Trek” was light-years better than “Hangover.” Of course, “Hangover” does have Bradley Cooper on its side.

Ate a whole bunch of things I shouldn’t have. So not looking forward to getting on the scale Monday.

Got in some quality writing time. I’ve hit a point where I need to rewrite an entire scene, though … As I was reading, it hit me: “This is what the rejection letter meant when it talked about action being driven by plot rather than character.” So I need to fix that. Stat.

I just don’t have it in me tonight.

I do, however, have it in me for a bit of introspection. As I scrolled through Instagram earlier today, I realized that my idea of fun — sitting at the movie theater all day for a double feature — is nowhere near my fit friends’ idea of fun. While they’re out hiking/running/being active, I’m parked on my butt.

That, my friends, is a problem. How can I become one of those folks who enjoys being active?

It’s a struggle, every day. At Blend, I was talking to Bonnie about my weight loss journey. I talked a lot about the various diets I’d tried; she asked me what part fitness has played in my journey.

Now, I haven’t always been fitness-averse. While I was doing Atkins the first time, I joined a gym and sometimes went twice a day. I’d go to a toning class and step aerobics, or spinning, then later yoga. I loved classes, as I mentioned in one of my many Blend recaps.

But I had to give up my gym membership when the economy tanked. The cost of living went up and up while my salary didn’t. (No raise for years … years, I said.) I haven’t been able to re-join, and I haven’t found a way to capture on my own what the classes gave me.

I like Tina’s Best Body Bootcamp, but it’s been hit or miss for me, as I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the plan. It seems so hard that I’m scared to try; and as I start skipping workouts, I feel guilty and stop interacting with the group … and then I feel worse. I’m toying with signing up for the summer session, and going for the new beginner option.

In the meantime, I’m going to join Mel at The Daily Mel in her Summer Walk Challenge (hashtag #walkwithmel). The goal is to walk a mile every day from Memorial Day to July Fourth. It looks like there’s a fairly large — and excited — group joining in. It ought to be a fun challenge, especially for someone like me, who tends to exercise in spurts. Getting a daily mile, consistently, will be good for me.

Who knows? Maybe it’ll rekindle my fitness spark.

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2 responses to “Is this real fun?

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