My own worst critic

Queen of Everything

I’m not feeling like the queen of anything at the moment.

You’ve probably heard the quote, “I’m my own worst critic.”

Apparently, it was coined by musician Adam Jones — but it’s been adopted by many others. According to this article from MSN, women are guilty of this more often than men.

I know I sure am. And it’s stalling my weight-loss progress.

How? Well, I’ve been guilty of falling into the all-or-nothing trap. I start out each day thinking it’s going to be great, but at the first bite of “bad” food, all my healthy eating plans fall apart and I vow to start again tomorrow. I blogged about it a few weeks ago, but still haven’t managed to completely pull myself out of it.

The problem is, tomorrow never comes. Well, it does — but when it rolls around, the same thing happens again. And again.

The good news is, I am not alone.

Roni recently wrote a Note to Self on the same topic. She nails exactly how I’ve been feeling:

Every morning starts off great. You’re motivated. Ready to tackle the day. Energetic. Happy.

Then, slowly, the funk sets in.

You start to nibble on this. Take a bite of that.

A handful of M&Ms? Why not? A chunk of cheese while feeding the baby? Maybe just a nibble? Oh go ahead, cut another slice, it’s good. Chips after dinner because you “want something salty.” Might as well, I already ruined the day!

Liz over at Prior Fat Girl also recently had a post on Wishful Thinking that resonated with me. She  talks about wishing she had a metabolism that allowed her to eat anything she wanted while staying naturally thin.

The truth is that maintaining consistent attention to weight loss seems downright impossible.  Food continues to be both a safe and luring would-be-friend, and a dangerous trap.

She concludes:

… The reality is that I will never get to eat whatever I want and be thin, and I will never be able to give up food entirely, so I have to find something in the middle.  Wishing gets me nowhere.  Only acting moves me forward.

That’s about where I am right now: Wishing and hoping, but not doing anything — unless spiraling into despair is doing something.

No more. I had a nice Facebook chat with my new elf, Helen, after work. As I dithered about whether I should go back to Atkins or try the new Weight Watchers 360 plan I’ve been hearing about all week, she encouraged me to make a decision.

“It’s better to start something than to do nothing,” she wrote.

We agreed to an extra challenge, on top of the daily Elf4Health tasks. I’m going to go back to eating lower-carb and she’ll be sticking to her meal plan, no extras.

Will it be hard? Heck, yeah! Not least because I can’t go back to full-blown Atkins — at least not yet — because I grocery-shopped on Friday and have a fridge (and fruit/veggie bowl) full of more paleo-ish foods that I don’t want to waste.

But committing to a plan — any plan — is a step in the right direction. I’m not going to keep floundering along, wishing I could stick to a diet.

Like Roni said:

Yea, it’s hard, but only at first! Bite the bullet. Focus on tomorrow –only tomorrow– and then let positive momentum take over.

It will; I know it will. Momentum always does build on itself. One good choice leads to another As much as I whine and balk at cutting out the carbs, once I’ve done it for a couple of days, I don’t even miss ’em.

No one said this weight-loss journey would be easy … or fun. My mistake lately has been expecting fun … wanting to just eat/drink whatever I want without consequences. Duh. There will always be consequences.

Water

Drank two of these, plus 4 16-oz bottles.

As for this week’s Elf4Health challenges, I managed to down 92 ounces of H2O on Monday. That’s a far cry from my body weight (or even my goal weight) in ounces, as we were supposed to do — but better than the pathetic 20 or so ounces I had on Sunday.

The big fridge/pantry clean-out slated for Tuesday only got half done. I was only home for a short time between returning from the Boyfriend’s and going to Starbucks to write before work. I did tackle the fridge when I got home from work.

Fridge Challenge

Before is on the left, after on the right.

It might not look like much of a change, but trust me: I tossed a lot of stuff. I found an unopened pack of hard salami that expired back in September, and some nasty-looking turkey pepperoni that expired in October. Bottles of sugar-laden sauces and some crusty mustard got tossed from the door.

And you don’t want to know about the slimy mushrooms I pulled out of the right-hand crisper drawer! 😉

Today’s challenge is to eat three servings of veggies by 2 p.m. I can do that. I’m thinking breakfast will be a nice egg & cheese omelet with sauteed peppers and onions. Maybe some zucchini, too.

I also plan to tackle the pantry clean-out and hit the pavement for a walk. At just 6.33 miles for the month so far, I’m a bit behind on the Winter 100 Challenge.

That’s OK, because my Fitness Tree looks pretty pathetic, too. It’s lopsided, with all the stickers hanging out on the right-hand side.

Something is better than nothing.

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