Thoughts on meditation

Today’s Elf4Health task was to spend 15 minutes meditating. Like Monday’s whole “go meatless” thing, it was a huge challenge for me.

I. Don’t. Meditate. My mind never slows down enough to be still.

But I had to try. I don’t want to blow the Elf4Health challenge in Week One. I figured the easiest way to do it would be to pretend I was at the end of a yoga class. That’s the closest I ever get to having an empty head and just being.

Love the AutoShutter app I downloaded for my phone.

After a 20-minute walk/jog, I grabbed a stand for my phone (so I could snap photographic proof of my meditative state), and flopped onto the deck in corpse pose.

Umm … I certainly can’t say my meditation time went swimmingly. All I can say is that it went — and I only grabbed for my phone three times: Twice to see how much longer I had and once to take a picture of the sky.

A litany of thoughts ran through my head as I laid there:

  • I hear traffic on Route 66.
  • Is that a car or a truck passing by?
  • The breeze is rustling in my ear.
  • Crap. Is that a thump in the house? What are the dogs getting into now?
  • This deck is hard. I should have brought a pillow out here with me.
  • I’m going to end up getting sunburned if I lie here in the sun for 15 minutes.
  • There aren’t many clouds in the sky.
  • I love living in Arizona, where the sky’s always blue.
  • Hey, that reminds me of a song, “The Sun Always Shines on TV.” Who sang that song, anyway? (Answer: a-ha. I googled it while writing this post.)
  • Are those clouds moving? They are, right?

    It sure doesn’t look much like a cat from this angle.

  • Does that cloud look like a cat? I think it does.
  • I should be writing these down. I can turn them into a funny blog post.
  • What’s for lunch?
  • Meditation is thirsty work. Maybe I should sit up and get a drink of water. (This right after I opened my eyes and saw the bottle by my feet.)
  • At least it’s a pretty day.
  • I’m going to get a sunburn, I know it.
  • What’s for lunch?
  • I think I’ll take some chocolate almond milk with me to Starbucks so I don’t order a low-carb Frappuccino. I can get an iced coffee and make my own latte instead.
  • I wonder how big tomorrow’s paper will be?
  • Why can’t I just be still? Do I not like myself enough to be with me?

Okay, that last one’s a little too heavy a thought for this silly post. But it did happen, so I had to make note of it. Maybe I’ll revisit it someday. Just not today.

The exercise reinforced the idea that meditation isn’t for me … at least not so much of it all at once. Maybe I should start smaller, with five minutes. I can work up to 15.

I’m not opposed to meditation. Like I said, I really love the last few minutes of yoga class, when I’m lying there, breathing deeply and relaxing. Sometimes I swear I fall asleep. It never feels long enough, that’s for sure.

For the rest of the week, I think I’ll try to set aside five minutes each day for meditation. We’ll see how it goes from there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s