Why not now?

It’s no secret I’ve been struggling with my eating for weeks now.

I’m hovering in that zone where I’m “trying” to eat paleo but not really succeeding — and then I end up not really doing much of anything in the way of healthy eating. One diet misstep spirals into a whole day of terrible eating and a promise to start over the next day … except the same thing happens the next day, and the one after that.

Maple-frosted yeast donut

Witness not one but three trips to Dunkin’ Donuts since they opened their doors on Monday … and I don’t even like their iced coffee very much. The donuts, on the other hand must be laced with crack. How else can you explain my multiple return trips?

The first time, it was donuts. My second trip, I bought Munchkins (including my favorite jelly-filled ones. What’s better than bite-sized jelly donuts?). Then I got a receipt that invited me to fill out a survey and get a free donut with purchase of a drink — so I did … the very next day.

Yeah, I have to admit I shouldn’t step foot in that place. Ever. Because once I start, I just can’t stop. And I didn’t walk there once.

Anyway …

My Saturday started with a donut and iced coffee, and continued with chicken strips and sweet potato fries at Louie’s Chicken Shack, a great local restaurant. Then, after a trip to the grocery store, I headed to Starbucks in an attempt to catch up on my NaNoWriMo word count. (I’m failing dismally, at only 22,000 of the 50K I’m supposed to have by Nov. 30.)

Pork plus …

A caramel brulee Frappuccino (made with heavy cream to cut back on the carbs, don’t you know?) and chocolate brownie later, I had 1,000 new words and a need to return to Target for the second time. I wanted to pick up some of the cheap ground pork I failed to grab earlier in the day … and ended up grabbing a ton more.

My haul included some new socks for running, Greek yogurt, heavy cream and a meatless Lean Cuisine meal in preparation for Monday’s #Elf4Health challenge.

I was so tempted to pick up dinner from McDonald’s on the way home. (Old, bad habits die hard … and my lack of desire to cook, coupled with a too-heavy reliance on fast food, is definitely a bad habit — one that rears its ugly head more often than I’d like.)

But since I’d just been to Safeway and Target, I had no good reason not to go home and cook something much more healthy than the CBO burger I had in mind. Plus, I’d been eating crap all day … and the thought that crossed my mind was “It has to stop sometime.”

Instead of waiting for Sunday morning, a perfect blank slate of a day, why not make the healthier choice right now?

So I went home and whipped up this:

Burger topped with onion and cheddar, with avocado, green beans and grape tomatoes.

My own version of the CBO — bunless and (sadly) without the bacon. My bacon was frozen solid and I didn’t want to wait for it to thaw.

You might notice there’s a tiny bit of cheese on that there burger … and there’s a very good reason for that.

As I said earlier this week, I’m considering changing things up … AGAIN.

Roni has been doing great with her #lessprocessed food journal on Instagram … and a lot of her pictures have made my mouth water.

What have I got to lose by attempting to go #lessprocessed? I can’t possibly make choices much worse than the ones I’m making right now.

That’s why I picked up some Greek yogurt and honey, and took a bag of shredded cheddar out of my freezer. I’m going to attempt to eat more whole foods, leaning toward grain-free choices … but not completely banning dairy.

I plan to stick to lower-carb choices most of the time … so if I have a sweet potato with breakfast, I’ll be eating low-carb the rest of the day. No more of this “sweet potato with every meal” crap I’ve been letting myself get away with.

Carbs are not my friend. I know this. I’ve learned and re-learned it many, many times — so why have I been letting them take over my diet?

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