How do you break an addiction? By drawing a hard line in the sand and getting hellbent on staying as far away from that line as possible.”
This was the sentence that wrapped up one of the posts I shared in yesterday’s Link Love offering, the one from Elle at Prior Fat Girl … the one about seeing food as fuel instead of comfort, friend, entertainment, etc.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that post. Most of the day, it kept playing on a loop in my head. (It went on a little hiatus at the grocery store, where I grabbed a Frappuccino Light even though I’d just eaten a very delicious lunch, and again at work, when I snagged a couple of Girl Scout cookies from the treat desk even though I wasn’t hungry.)
Elle’s comment “I forgave myself all the way to 212 pounds, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I could forgive myself clear to 500 pounds or more.” really struck a chord with me, because I think that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for a long time now.
I’ve been telling myself “It’s OK to have eaten XXXX” when it’s really not. Yes, it’s fine to enjoy a cookie once in a while — but every day? Come on.
I’m just fooling myself if I think it’s fine to eat whatever I want whenever I want it. It’s not OK to feed a Frappuccino-a-day habit, even with the Light version. It’s really not. My most recent scale reading is proof of that.
I’m not saying I want to give up on intuitive eating. I want to have a normal relationship with food, without counting or obsessing over every little thing. I want to be able to eat a burger and fries without thinking “I blew it. Might as well stuff my face for the rest of the day.”
And sometimes I crave good food. Whole food. Healthy food. Wednesday night’s dinner — which I’d packed as two snacks, but ended up eating together as dinner so I didn’t have to waste time going home — is an example.
I wanted to eat hummus, pepper strips and 2 Rye Krisp crackers, followed by an apple and almond butter. Everything was fresh and tasty, and I enjoyed every bite.
Was it as enjoyable as a burger and fries? Maybe not. But my body will thank me — someday.
It’s time for me to start giving myself a little tough love. I need to draw my own line in the sand and start staying as far away from it as I can.