When I was doing Atkins the first time, I started writing a nonfiction book about being low-carb and loving it. The other day, I stumbled on these pages again. They read a lot like blog posts, so I thought, “Why not share them like they are?”
Enjoy!
Over the years, I’ve tried to diet many times.
In high school, when I wasn’t following Mom’s NutriSystem plan, I’d just plain skip lunch. (I liked saving my lunch money for things that tasted better than school lunches, like Hostess Twinkies and cupcakes.) Occasionally, I’d take a Slim-Fast bar to school with me and eat that at lunchtime. (Trust me, their taste has greatly improved over the years.)
In college, I was too busy working and studying to worry too much about dieting. Oh, who am I kidding? I was too busy eating — and enjoying every bite — to care how much weight I’d put on.
In addition to the not-so-healthy lunches and brunches, there were breakfasts of PopTarts and Dr Pepper and late-night pizza snacks. Wednesday night was pizza night at my college newspaper office. Our adviser ordered pizza to feed all of us hard-working editor types while we worked to put out that week’s paper.
A few years after graduation, I tried to lose weight. Though I never actually joined Weight Watchers and went to weekly meetings, I subscribed to the magazine and tried out a lot of the recipes. I got a yearly planner in which to keep track of what I ate, how many glasses of water I drank and how much I exercised (which was never very much).
I’d stick with the program for a while, but never long enough to see impressive results. Something would happen to make me cheat on my diet — like I’d get tried of starving myself. I’d get hungry — and a salad with a boneless, skinless (flavorless) chicken breast wasn’t going to fill me up. Before I knew it, I’d be out enjoying a burger and onion rings, or a nice slice — or two or four — of pizza.
And then? Well, I’d blown it. Once again, I’d rather eat what I liked — damn the nutrition content — and be full than starve myself to be thin.
Again and again, I’d follow the pattern: Diet until I started to feel like I was starving, then start eating everything I could get my hands on. (The chocolate-nut brownies from the vending machine at work were a particular favorite of mine.)
“Lose weight and exercise more” was my standing New Year’s Resolution.
Looking back, I wonder if I might have been a binge eater. No purging, though: Just eating a lot more than I should have. Spaghetti was particularly good at inducing me to overeat. I’d inhale a heaping plateful and then decide I wanted more, even though I didn’t need it. Halfway through that second plate, I’d be stuffed — but by then I had to finish it, because there wasn’t enough left to save.
God forbid I just throw it away. I hated to waste perfectly good food — unless, of course, it was a salad. Seems I had no qualms about buying produce and letting it moulder in the fridge.
I still buy veggies and end up not eating them before they go bad.
Hmm … 30-plus (now 40) years in this body and I’m still trying to figure out how the brain works.
Go figure!
More to come …
This isn’t exactly something I lose sleep over, but I can’t help thinking about it from time to time.
What is it, you ask?
Well, weight loss is a billion-dollar industry. You have Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, L.A. Weight Loss … and probably dozens more. In the fitness arena, there’s Curves, Bally’s, 24-Hour Fitness, Crunch, Anytime Fitness and countless other gyms.
Don’t forget the thousands of books and magazines dedicates to helping us be our best — read fit, healthy and happy — selves.
So how many of these programs, gyms and magazines set us up to fail. After all, if everyone followed their advice and lost the weight and got fit, there’d be no reason for us to keep going back to them, would there?
Maybe that’s why they continue to tout a low-fat, high-carb eating plan that just isn’t sustainable for many of us. The weight-loss giants want us to keep failing so they can stay in business.
OK, probably not. It’s more likely they all have the best of intentions and truly believe in what they sell.
But the idea is intriguing, you have to admit.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who wonders about this.
There has to be a reason I’m having a bottomless pit kind of day.
No, I haven’t had any forbidden carbs. But I did snack on a handful of nuts, a slice of cheese and two sugar-free peppermint patties when I got home from work.
Stress at work? No more than usual.
Skimpy dinner? Maybe. I had green beans with Alfredo sauce and pepperoni.
The main culprit is more likely the bad news I got on the writing front. The contest scores I received were a lot lower than I expected. None of the judges seemed to like my heroine.
I keep trying to remind myself that this was the first feedback on my first draft. And convince myself that it gives me something to work with …
Still, it’s hard not to feel discouraged — and to want refuge in food.
Then again, maybe it’s just about that TOM. That’ll make me crave snacks every time.
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