Failures Big & Small

Best-laid plans

It turns out ol’ Robert Burns is right: The best-laid plans of mice and (wo)men often go awry. Such was the case for me at my writer’s conference last weekend. You knew there was a reason I’ve been silent this week, right? (Actually, I’ve still been super busy.)

I planned to get in my last two Best Body Bootcamp workouts on Saturday and Sunday mornings while everyone else was still sleeping, before conference sessions got under way. I even packed my gym clothes and tennis shoes. I scoped out the location of the hotel gym on the map … and then didn’t go anywhere near the darn place.

I did get quite a bit of walking in on the conference center grounds — more than 12,000 steps Friday alone. But I didn’t do my formal workouts. Is it coincidence that I didn’t win bootcamp’s big cash prize? I think not.

My plan also included staying on my low-carb diet. I packed Atkins bars and brownies to help me avoid temptation … and then, between sessions, I snatched a mini Reese’s cup from one of the bowls in the conference check-in area. (Writers love their chocolate, so it was present in abundance, and I’d foolishly left my Atkins snacks in my luggage … in the hot car.) One led to another, and pretty soon it was open season on sweets and carbs in general.

It didn’t help that there were no diabetic meals after all, and every chicken breast was breaded. Someone suggested Saturday that I ask for the gluten-free meal. No breading there … but by then I’d already devoured potatoes, white and wild rice pilaf, chocolate mousse, a heavenly chocolate cake with whipped cream and raspberry sauce and other assorted carby treats.

Oh, it was way too easy to slip back into my old, bad habits. We stopped at the swanky Scottsdale Fashion Square mall Sunday after the conference and I was still in a carb free-for-all. I got a dark chocolate milkshake from Johnny Rockets, crowned with thick whipped cream. It was dee-ee-licious.

But after I tossed the cup in the trash, I gave myself the old diet pep talk. You know the one: “One day — even one weekend — of out-of-control eating won’t cause you to regain all the weight you’ve lost. Continuing to eat crap will, though, so get back on track now.”

I took a deep breath, told myself that once I left the mall I was back on Atkins and then stepped through the doors. I didn’t look back.

After a weekend on carb overload, I felt blah and bloated. It’s also been tougher for me to say “no” to the things I usually have no trouble bypassing. But I’m doing it, and I know the desire for bread/sweets will go away.

I’m not looking forward to getting on the scale in the morning, though. It won’t be pretty.

At least I got in all my water each day. H2O was nearly as omnipresent as chocolate, with giant pitchers of ice water in each conference room and more in the common area.

Best Body Bootcamp Week Five Check-in: Seeing changes

The changes I’m seeing as a result of  Best Body Bootcamp are no longer all mental. That’s right … My body is changing, too. This week, I’ve noticed definition in  my arms and my entire midsection seems less bulky overall.

There’s been a mental shift, too, though. Take this morning, for example. I totally didn’t want to work out this morning. I sat on the edge of the bed holding my exercise pants in one hand for a good five minutes before putting them on. Same thing with the bra and shirt. They sat in my lap for a good three minutes before I bucked up and got dressed and down to business.

Even though I didn’t want to work out, I pulled on the big-girl panties and did it anyway.

That is HUGE for me. You might even call it a breakthrough of sorts. I think I will.

My eating was a little problematic yesterday. The Boyfriend and I went to see “The Hunger Games” and, as usual, he wanted popcorn. It’s been almost a year since I’ve even been tempted by popcorn at the theater … but yesterday we were in a little mom-and-pop theater where they put REAL butter on the popcorn, and I wanted some.

I thought I could stop after having a handful or two. Uh … wrong. I had at least ten. Maybe more. I lost count after a while. That’s what happens when I have access to a trough of popcorn.

The good thing is, when I realized I was mindlessly munching a lot more carbs than I’d intended to eat, I put on the brakes. I folded over the bag and set it on the floor, out of sight and (to a lesser extent) mind.

It just proved my point, though: I can’t eat carbs like that … at least not when they’re available in unlimited quantities. The first time I did Atkins, after seven months on the plan my roommate and I went to a movie for her birthday, we split a SMALL popcorn and I was fine with that. We did the same thing on a few other occasions (but not every time we saw a movie).

That’s okay. Limited — very limited — servings of high-carb foods I can handle. But the giant bag of popcorn sitting in the Boyfriend’s lap? Once I gave myself permission to have that first handful, it was open season on fluffy, buttery yumminess.

Lessons learned this week:

• Bootcamp rocks as a way to change my body and my mindset.
• Step away from the popcorn. It’s still way too easy for me to fall back into over-consuming junk carbs.

Last kitchen fail of 2011

My last cooking adventure of 2011 was an epic failure in which I learned    waxed paper doesn’t always make a good substitute for parchment paper.

Now, I’ve done a similar swap before, so when I headed to the kitchen to whip up some of George Stella’s “Goldfish” Crackers, I lined my baking sheets with waxed paper without a second thought.

Big mistake. BIG. First off, waxed paper in the oven at 400 degrees F sets off the smoke alarm. Twice. I had to open up both doors and turn on the fan over the stove.

But the bigger problem: My little cheesy bits of goodness stuck to the damn paper.

They weren’t going to peel off with my finger (which I managed to burn on hot cheese) or a spatula.

I even tried putting the paper in the microwave to heat them up more and then peel the crackers off. No go. They were stuck to that waxed paper like a brick to fresh-dried mortar.

I was really bummed, because I wanted those darn crackers. And the top halves I managed to pry off were pretty tasty.

So it was off to Walmart to look for A) a silicone baking mat or B) parchment paper. There was silicone to be found — except maybe in some exceptionally large boobs on one of the other customers.

Armed with a roll of this cool Reynolds wrap that’s parchment paper on one side and foil on the other, I headed back to the kitchen for Take Two.

Once I had the proper equipment, the recipe was super-simple. All you do is cut slices of real American cheese into 16 pieces, season them with salt, chili powder and garlic powder and lay them out on the paper.

It couldn’t be much easier, really.

This time, when I pulled the baking sheet out of the oven, the browned bits of cheesy goodness slid right up.

They tasted pretty good — and are pretty darn addictive. I kept popping them into my mouth as I whipped up another snack: curried nuts (also from George Stella’s book). Those nuts are delicious. I think they might be better than the cinnamon candied nuts from his first book (my previous favorites).

The crackers are pretty salty, though. Next time, I think I’ll omit the added salt, and just season them with garlic and chili powder.

The moral of the story is: Always have the proper equipment for a recipe. Waxed paper and parchment paper aren’t interchangeable.

Good to know!